I made durian muffins for the third time (second time this weekend.) My brother loves them! We saw durian on sale for 50 cents a pound at the newly opened HMart in Doraville!

Below is my recipe, which is based upon a banana muffin recipe I found on allrecipes.com.



Ingredients:
(Dry)
1 1/2 cups Korean wheat flour (see picture.) All-purpose flour works fine.

1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

(Wet)
2+ cups of durian, mashed (about 6 durian pieces) You can also choose to use less (like as little as 2/3 cup) and just mix in less with the batter
3/4 cup white sugar (more or less depending on how sweet you want it.)
1 egg
1/3 cup butter, melted

(Makes 12 muffins)

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Coat muffin pans with non-stick spray, or use paper liners.
3. Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
4. Set aside part of the durian to use as filling, about 1/2 or 1/3 cup, depending how much you want to put in.
4. Combine remaining durian, sugar, egg, and melted butter in a large bowl.
5. Fold in flour mixture, and mix just enough until ingredients look mixed. Don't overmix!
6. Scoop into muffin liners. Fill them about 1/2 or 2/3 full, add a teaspoon[+] of durian filling to the middle, and then add more of the batter, until it is about 4/5 full.

7. Bake in preheated oven. Bake muffins for about 19 minutes (or until toothpick comes out clean.)

Batch #1 (I think I left them in a couple minutes too long.) and Batch #2 (I guess I could have used a spoon to smooth over the tops of the muffins so they wouldn't look as bumpy.)


I also made plain banana muffins, bananas muffins with banana filling, and banana muffins with durian filling, which turned out well. My brother liked the durian/durian filling muffins the best tho.

Some friends and I have been indoor rock climbing the past couple weeks, after we bought the groupon for a $50 month membership (including rentals.) One reason I wanted to do it is because I'm kinda of uneasy with heights, and wanted to be a little more comfortable with it. (I remember climbing a jungle gym as a kid, and then when I was up high and looked down, I was too afraid to come down, and yelled and cried till my dad came and got me.) Plus, it'd be fun to hang out with friends, and I wanted to try something different and to challenge myself.

The first couple of times I definitely had to use my logic to stamp out the slight feelings of uneasiness about heights. I knew I had tied my knots correctly, that the equipment should support me, and that I trusted the person belaying me. Therefore, I shouldn't worry about being up high or falling.

It's also a bit intimidating being in the gym surrounded by so many skilled climbers. You get a bit self-conscious and feel like people may all be watching you when you climb. After a while, you figure out there's people of all levels, and who cares if you aren't as skilled.

One other thing I became aware of about myself after one night in the beginning was that I would say often "Oh, that's too hard. I won't make it." But eventually I'd try it. Why did I keep saying that? I realized it was probably because I was just protecting myself, so that if I "failed," it wouldn't be a surprise to me because I said I was going to fail anyways. (And if I succeeded, then super!) After realizing that, I told myself I would try to stop saying that.

Feel free to join us if interested.

I wouldn't want to describe myself as a perfectionist, but I was definitely a perfectionist earlier in my life (and probably have those tendencies still.) My parents always encouraged me to do my best, and to achieve as high as I could, which is a good thing. However, somewhere along the way, after doing well in many things, I expected I should be good at everything and didn't want to fail at anything. I probably suffered from something like the imposter syndrome as well. (Supposedly many women suffer from this.)

That's not good, because then I limited myself and what I could experience. I became too critical of myself, too focused on results, and probably kept growing a low self-esteem. I would internally give up if I couldn't be "perfect" in something. It was like all-or-nothing.

I feel like I've been trying to undo perfectionism in myself the past few years - do my best still (we are given many gifts and should not waste them,) but don't worry if I fail, or get a "B" even. (MIT taught me a lesson in that... the hard way.) It's okay to mess up (one reason playing softball is good for me.) Don't let the results affect me too much, but focus on all the other more important things. I still catch perfectionist tendencies in myself, and have to undo those thoughts and behaviors, but I think I'm learning.